Performance has been a huge aspect of my life since I was young, but I have always performed behind the safety net of a group. By taking Solo I aim to brave the stage alone. I look back to my childhood fondly. I consider it such an important aspect of my life to this day- as I hope everybody should be able to. I remember my favourite toys (Beyblade, Lego, toy soldiers) my favourite games (Sonic the Hedgehog, Kingdom Hearts, Lemmings) and my friends. I remember the things I broke, the things I lied about, the moments I am proud of and those I’m not so proud of. But most of all I remember the feeling when I realised my childhood had come to an end. When birthdays and Christmases did not seem as magical as before. When the world no longer seemed to revolve around me. Childhood is currently an area of interest for my solo performance.
At heart I am still a child, I still enjoy everything I did when I was young- I still enjoy video games, I still enjoy toys and I still want to play. “Grow up” or “how old are you?” are common phrases that I hear, but what if I do not want to grow up? Perhaps I do not want to be entirely thrust into a world of mindlessly searching for a dead-end job, just so that I can use the money I earn to just about pay for the basic requirements to live. I do not want to let go of everything that shaped who I am. Why should I have to let go of the very things which define who I am and how I act? I want to have fun.
Something that has always annoyed me is how British society places huge stress on students to go into school as early as the age of 3-4. Children are confined to a desk when they should be allowed to play and explore. They fill our heads with systems, conventions and social requirements. They urge you to take more ‘academic’ subjects. They urge you to think of careers before you have even had chance to know who you are. They restrict the freedom to play.
I want to be able to play and explore and I think everyone should be given that privilege.
As John Lennon sings in Working Class Hero.
As soon as you’re born they make you feel small
By giving you no time instead of it all
‘Til the pain is so big you feel nothing at all
…
They hurt you at home and they hit you at school
They hate you if you’re clever and they despise a fool
‘Til you’re so fucking crazy you can’t follow their rules
…
When they’ve tortured and scared you for 20 odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can’t really function, you’re so full of fear
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Nacional, E. (2017) Childhood [Online]. Available at: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/50f77906e4b058a40f909f4d/5613e24ee4b0efff54b0611b/5613e4e4e4b0ce4108b94635/1444144368625/CM-01.png?format=1000w [Accessed 8 February 2017].
Lennon, J. (1971). Working Class Hero. [Online] Apple. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njG7p6CSbCU [Accessed 3 Feb. 2017].